Dispelling a Myth about Coaching and Psychotherapy

Coaches often say that psychotherapy looks back at the past while coaching stays in the present and looks forward. Wrong on both counts.

Sure, some forms of psychotherapy involve a lot of storytelling and recognizing patterns from the past. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, is very present and future focused, and discounts insight into the past in favor of experimenting with new behaviors now and in the futre. In fact, I would almost say that coaching as a discipline has its intellectual roots in this kind of pychotherapy! In addition, there are forms of group psychotherapy that are completely grounded in the here and now and allow no storytelling about anything going on outside the group.

Conversely, it’s simply a fact that very often coaching clients reflect on past patterns and find the roots for the patterns that hold them back professionally in stories from their childhood. One of my coaching clients was struggling with assertive communication with men on her team. Sharing her experience of being bullied as a child was essential for the coaching process; there was just no way to move forward without touching on those past events. I’m sure many other coaches have the similar stories to tell. We fail coaches-in-training if we teach them to ignore the past.

Similarly, in organizations, unfinished business from the past often exerts an influence on the dynamics of the team. One client of min lost a promotion to a peer who then becomes her supervisor. She ruminated on it for decades, and it had a negative influence on her ability to do her best work. Until this was named and claimed, she was not able to move on. We are storytelling creatures, and the stories we tell about our past have a direct impact on our mindset and attitude today.

In the words of Fred Rogers:

Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.

In psychotherapy and in coaching, I practice deep listening with my clients, and I track them where they need to go, whether into the present, the past, or the future.